Its been more than a month since I have been on here... so I am catching up with reading blogs today. I have been without internet and will be for another two weeks at least. I have missed being here but it has been a great month with getting moved, starting a container garden and finally dealing with some emotional issues that were depressing me and getting in the way of my growth. I feel fantastic! I look forward to being back soon.

Bright Blessings

Raiwvynn

I just wanted to let you all know that I am going to be offline probably for the month. We are moving yesterday-today-tomorrow. And I am not going to have internet access for a month or so. I will check in at the library but don't know how often I will have time post.

Bright Blessings to you all

Raiwvynn

A while back I was talking to someone on coven space here and found out about the Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards. I got some and I thought today for a change I would talk about the card that I picked today.

 I chose the Goddess Card Bast today - this is what it says:

 Independent "Your independence is a foundation for your strength and success."

Message from Bast: Like the cat, you're fiercely independent, yet you also need affection and playful companions. Now is the time to balance your social interactions with solitude. While you may ask others for their opinions, ultimately you must make your own decisions. Your freedom and independence are top priorities, so ensure that these characteristics are nurtured.

Various Meanings of this Card: Spend time alone. Give yourself permission to play. Ask for your needs to be met. Make your own decision. Work with cats. Pay attention to your pet feline and/or get a new cat.

About Bast: (rhymes with Mast): The Egyptian Goddess Bast transforms into a cat each night and protects her family and those who call upon her with her all-seeing night vision. She exhibits the catlike traits of the feminine, which include gracefulness, independence, playfulness, and intuition. Bast also works with cat lovers to help their feline companions. The daughter of the sun God Ra, Bast has the rare distinction of being both a moon and a sun Goddess

 I find it interesting that I got this card today. To be honest I am feeling very cat like today. Kind of leave me alone, let me do my thing; let me bask in the sun on the floor type of day. I have been learning over the last little while to start asking for the things that I need. That of course starts here at home with my partner of course but it also means that in regards to my health care and disability needs I need to ask for them as well. I have been putting off asking disability for a few things that I need simply because I am too proud to say hey I need some help. But the truth is that I need to ask for them and they will help me get on with living a functional and full life.

 I was intrigued as well by the playfulness aspect of Bast. I have been feeling the need recently to have that playful side of my life show up more. Whether it be playing with the cats, fooling around with my boyfriend wrestling on the grass, or even chatting and being silly with an online friend I need the joy of playfulness in my life. It helps lessen the difficult times and feelings that can sometimes trouble ones mind.

 Independence - LOL! I get in so much trouble about being independent. I guess that there is a point to being independent but sometimes one can take it a little too far. After all we do need people in our lives. Now I am not saying that one shouldn't look out for themselves and be strong and courageous in making decisions and changes in their lives. I think that sometimes we can mix up pride and independence. We think that if we can't do everything on our own then we are not independent or taking care of ourselves. Unfortunately sometimes when we don't take the chance and let down our pride and ask for help when we need it we end up loosing pieces of our independence and even more of our pride.

 Life is such a balancing act. But what a wonderful learning experience.

 Bright Blessings

Autumn Raiwvynn

Friday about noon i headed out to grab some books about candle making from the library. Its about a 20 minute walk and I was a little perturbed when I got there to find out that the library is no longer open on Fridays. I was feeling a little disturbed in the tummy and thought I would continue walking because the bus wouldn't help me at all so I wandered up past Avatar Beads and of course had to slip in. They are actually looking for part time help so I am going to take my resume in. Then I wandered up to my favourite spice shop. This man is a wiz with his spices. He buys them from all over the world and makes his own BBQ rub, meat spices, and best of all makes his own teas as well. I love his Riboos Chia Tea and his Orange Spice oh and his Peppermint.  So I picked up a few things from there and then started wandering home.

It was kinda cool out and a drizziling but I kept walking because my tummy was saying no bus. Little did I know that I was headed for a bout with some sort of flu. I have been in bed since I got home that afternoon. My boyfriend wanted to stay and comfort me but when I am sick I don't want people around so I sent him out to play poker with the boys. I was glad he was gone. Don't like being hovered over when I am face to face with the porciline altar. It lasted pretty severely until about 4:30 am so I was thinking that I was one of those  12 hour bugs... but still I wasn't much able to get out of the bed for most of the day. So I missed the first really nice day of spring.

It made me kind of sad to be laying in bed looking out of the window, listening to the birds and not being able to go out. I woke this morning to find that the weather had stayed the same and it is a beautiful day out there today. I am still a little hesitant to stray far from home but i am going to head out for a walk. I am hoping so see if I can follow the two Cooper hawks that I saw dancing in the skies above the trail last week. I feel weak as a kitten but I know that the sunshine and the fresh air will strengthen me.

Its funny how something like an illness can make one feel so completely cut off from the world around them. It made me think about those who can't get out and be apart of the soft breezes and the warming sun. I live not to far from a seniors home and as I lay there yesterday I thought how difficult that must be for some. I know that if my grandfather has lived to spend much time in a seniors home he would have longed for his gardens and being outside. It's made me think about ways that I can help bring the spring and summer in to some of these people.

I am sitting here this morning drinking my home made pepermint tea and wondering what the day is going to bring. It's already 11:30 and shamefully I have only been out of bed for about 1 hour. We have been keeping very late nights lately and it is no wonder that i have had a constant headache for the last two days. I think too that I am coming down with a sinus infectoin.

The sun is bright and shining today and I know I should go out and walk and explore but somehow I am just not feeling lively enough. That's really not a good excuse and I am going to go but I am wondering what on earth is going on with me.  I did a three day vision quest / pathworking last weekend to help me to work with and know the elements better and i cam home feeling very worn out and drained. That really hasn't lifted. Even after the ritual last night I am still very worn out. Guess I need to do some work.

I think part of the problem is likely that I am stressing out about moving at the end of April and I am also stressing out about not having a job. But for today (since I can't do anything about either of those issues on a holiday weekend) I am just going to focus on taking in the sunlight and getting lots of oxygen into these winter lungs... and getting outside.  It is time to change up the routine and get on with enojoying the spring.

Lol... this is the funny thing about blogging... it helps me to clarify what I need to do for myself. I really aught to do it on a daily basis. It's not as if I don't have the time after all.... lol... Bright blessings to all who dare read...

Oh and a very happy Ostara, vernal equinox or whatever you are celebrating or not celebrating this weekend!

Raiwvynn